After swiping his key card, he entered the room. When he closed the door behind him, Megan turned around, gazing expectantly at him. Now that he was in front of her, he didn’t know exactly what to say. He had been on emotional overload on the roof, and things had escalated far too quickly. “Look, I just want to say how very sorry I am about kissing you.”

“Well I’m not,” she replied matter-of-factly.

Pesh’s neck snapped back in shock. Her response wasn’t what he was expecting at all. He had imagined she might be relieved or even embarrassed, but he hadn’t imagined that she would be without regret. He cleared his throat that had suddenly run dry. “Regardless, I shouldn’t have done it. I was in an emotionally vulnerable position, and you were merely trying to comfort me. Nothing more.” His words were more for his own good than hers.

She shook her head. “Just because I was comforting you, doesn’t mean I didn’t want you to kiss me. That I still don’t want to kiss you again.”

His brows furrowed in confusion. “But you—”

“Pesh, I’ve wanted you since the night of Noah’s baptism. But you shot me down then, and you still do.”

Although his heart wanted to soar at her admission of wanting him, the reality of her words caused his chest to clench instead. “Sexually. You only want me sexually.”

“Yes.”

He should have been flattered that a young, sexy woman like Megan desired him. But he wasn’t. Half of the women in the hospital would be willing to have him drag them to an empty patient’s room for a quick and dirty screw. But that’s not who he was. He had never been that way with women, and he didn’t see how it could be possible to change. All he wanted was for her to really see him and how good he could be for her. He thought that was what she was feeling in the moments before and after he kissed her. But now it seemed it once again only lust.

Although it was probably pointless, he couldn’t help putting everything out there once again. “But when we were up on the roof, there wasn’t a moment where you wanted more from me than just sex?” He licked his lips and took a step toward her. “Just a second where you could imagine your life with me in it?”

Megan stared at him, her expression contemplative. For a brief moment, Pesh thought by her hesitation that she had changed her mind about him. But then she shook her head. “How many times are you going to make me hurt you with this? You’re too good for me, Pesh. We both know that. I’ll remind you again of some the reasons I’m not the one for you. I’m twenty-five, and you’re thirty-seven. You want a wife, and I’m not ready to be married.”

Her words sliced into his chest the same as if she had taken a sharp blade to him. She may have had to repeat herself this time, but he realized the finality of her words. And then an idea hit him so hard that he shuddered—a true light bulb moment and epiphany. There was only one way he was going to get to have his sweet Megan, and that was if he gave in to her. He would have to become someone else for her, even if it was just for a little while. He could distract her with the sex that she both desired and demanded, but at the same time, he would make her fall in love with him. It could work. It had to.

Cocking his head at her, he questioned, “So let me get this straight once and for all. You would let me…"
 He paused, fighting the conflict within himself to say what he needed to. He drew in a ragged breath. “You would let me fuck you but not love you?”

Her eyes widened at his word choice. “What’s gotten into you?”

He shrugged nonchalantly, feeling slightly empowered in the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment. “I merely asked a simple question.”

She snorted exasperatedly. “Yeah, about…” She swallowed hard. “Fucking of all things.”

“Yes.”

Megan shook her head wildly back and forth. “I can barely acknowledge hearing you say the word, least of all you doing that.”

“You can’t imagine me—”

She held up her hand. “You’re not the type of man to fuck,” she countered.

His brows shot up. “Oh really? I’m too nice of a guy.”

“Something like that.”

“I am a man, Megan. We all have needs. Isn’t fucking one of them?”

Her body trembled slightly at his words. She licked her lips before replying, “S-Stop saying that word—it isn’t you.”

“So fucking isn’t me? Don’t tell me you think I’m totally asexual—that you can’t imagine me fucking a woman…fucking you.” He eased in closer to her. “We both know for a fact that you wanted nothing more than to fuck me the night of Noah’s baptism. Given the chance right now, you’d let me strip off your scrubs and fuck you up against the medicine cabinet.”

As her chest heaved up and down, she took a step back from him, bumping against the counter. “But you don’t say things like that. You’re refined. You’re a gentleman.”

“It may have been awhile, but even a gentleman like me enjoys fucking.” He closed the gap between them.

“What are you doing?” she whispered.

“I’m giving you want you want.”

“You’re giving in?”

“Yeah, why not?” As he dipped his head, his mouth hovered over hers. “If you really want me to take you, then kiss me.”